Almost There… Hopefully

This morning I’m scheduled to see an MD who will be evaluating me for the disability aid I applied for several months back. I’m really really nervous right now, because after months of hoping and wondering it comes down to today and this one doctor’s opinion. I’m not the greatest at explaining my disabilities to people. especially doctors… so I hope he’s good at asking questions and understanding what I’m trying to tell him. The thought of someone trying to fish out whether or not my claims are true or false, or at the least worthy of being considered a disability by the state, really makes me scared. Being rejected or told my feelings are invalid is very painful, but when it means the difference between financial aid or nothing at all… it’s big. My partner and I will be okay without it, but having that extra money would be so wonderful. For all those people who go on about people receiving financial aid being lazy slobs, wasteful, and all the other nasty things they’ve said – you don’t get it. You just don’t get it.

Eat More Fat for Healthy Living

The more I implement this into my life the better I feel.

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There is something sacred about waking up in the morning beside the person you love. 

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Unladylike Musings

Celebrating Womanhood is an Event Hosted by Living, Learning, and Loving Life, Cabin Goddess, CrazyLadyx5, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dave, Tea With Dee, alchemyofscrawl, and Retro Housewife Goes GreenFor one day, we want to drown out negativity and celebrate the beauty and pride of women. 

I grew up surrounded by strong women – women who taught me that I could literally do anything I wanted and be anyone I wanted.  They encouraged my dreams and my passions, no matter how ludicrous they may have seemed.  However, it was not until recently that I have begun to realize I identify with feminism.  It isn’t something that was explicitly spoken about in my home, school, or church while I was growing up.  Though, looking back it has always been a part of my life.

I’ve recently read a couple of posts that have inspired me to look…

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A Tangled Up Mess

Growing up, I dreamed of being a pretty princess who was rescued by a handsome prince. I watched enough movies and read enough books to know that a real princess was delicate, lady-like, in need of rescuing, and incredibly beautiful. A princess didn’t take matters into her own hands, didn’t save the world, and didn’t take care of herself. A prince did all those things for her. So I grew up emulating that model of waiting for a prince to take care of me and sweep me off my feet. Sure I went to college, but deep down inside I figured I was there mostly so I could meet my prince and then have him take care of me after we were married. I had plenty of talents, plenty of abilities, and a strong enough personality to make a difference in the world, but I wasn’t interested in any of that stuff. Adults had always said that a man didn’t want/like a women who would compete with him, was stronger than him (in any way), or could make more money than him… so I decided I would be none of those things so that my prince would still want me when he found me.

Are you seeing the HUGE problems here yet?

Not only had fairy tales taught me what was acceptable, but also the patriarchal teachings of IFB Christians had reinforced the princess and prince mindset. Then, in high school, I discovered Vision Forum and the mindset referred to as “Quiverfull.” Vision Forum promoted the princess and prince views as Biblical, made it clear that woman’s place was at home raising lots and lots of kids while doing all she can to make her beloved prince happy. They made it all sound so romantic, so heroic even, as if this great duty was all you could ever want to do if you were a true Christian and truly a feminine woman. The Botkin sisters are a huge voice for this movement. They are beautiful, well-articulated, and seem like real princesses… but they have little to no actual life experience, and yet they write books and blog about how young women should live. Their words are honey-coated poison for young women everywhere, as are the words of all those involved in quiverfull or Vision Forum teaching. As someone who embraced those teachings, albeit relatively briefly, I can say from experience that what they teach is harmful. It was harmful to me and stunted my personal growth for several years, and I’ve read a lot of other women’s accounts of how their lives were damaged by such teachings. More

Tired

“How are you doing?”

“Oh, I’m really tired.”

Went to bed early last night. I woke up at least 4 times during the night, but I think I got about 9 hours of sleep. My emotions feel more rested, but my body and brain are still telling me I need more sleep. The never-ending need for more sleep is a curse well-known to those who have fibromyalgia. I’ve tried several things, but nothing has really helped me sleep better. If I take melatonin I sleep better the first few nights but then I start having vivid dreams that wake me up. I’ve tried hot baths, relaxing music, etc. but nothing seems to do it for me. Like many people with sleep issues, I’ve gotten used to functioning in a state of sleep deprivation. Well, when I say that, I mean deprivation from the deepest level of sleep. I may get in several hours of sleep, but without getting the deep, restorative sleep I need it’s like I didn’t really sleep at all. Naps can be really helpful to me, so I try to get one in every day.

A Feminism Laugh

This article is good for a laugh. The things said by the original lady for FOX News are downright hideous. As a young IFB woman, I once believed a lot of that crap. I’m SOOO glad I’m over that now.

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