IFB Teachings: Nonsense

I try to keep this blog civil, but this is stuff that needs to be said. This is stuff I was raised to believe as an Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB). My parents may or may not have taught me these things, but they were most certainly taught or inferred by church, school, college, and fellow IFB.

  • Better use the right version of the Bible, KJV to be specific.  Avoid all music that makes you want to move, so just go for old hymns and you’ll be safe.
  • Spank your children, don’t trust them, because they are born with a horrible sin nature and are really little monsters bound for Hell.
  • Send them to a strict Christian school or home school them yourself, because it wouldn’t do for them to pick up worldly notions or learn from a curriculum that wasn’t Christ-centered. Once they’re college age, be sure they attend a college that is KJV only, against contemporary music, and has all it’s p’s and q’s straight, biblically speaking. Ideally this college will implement strict curfews, dating rules, and remain in support of parental authority despite the age and status of the student.
  • Disregard science, history, and much else in favor of a collection of over-a-thousand-years-old writing from the Middle East. These writings are full of slavery (commanded by God), murder, rape, gender inequality, etc.
  • Global warming is a lie. The government is out to get you. Anything that promotes world-wide unity and peace must be the work of the devil (see Revelations). The end of the world is coming, probably soon, so things like environmentalism are a waste of time.
  • Question whether dating is biblical, probably decide to implement courting. Dad has lots of say-so, and it will be ensured that the two young sinners are never left alone together. God forbid they start kissing, touching each other, or engage in sex before getting married! Speaking of sex, it’s not to be spoken of – it’s somewhat of a shameful,dirty topic only to be discussed by married people.
  • Men are sexual beings who are hard-wired for lust. They can’t control themselves, so women must keep as much skin covered as possible. Women must also wear very loose clothing for the same reason. Women aren’t really sexual beings. Sex is really for the man’s pleasure, but women must put up with it as their wifely duty. If the wife doesn’t put out like the husband wants, it’s her fault if he has an affair.
  • Women should really stay and home and clean the house and take care of the kids. Men should be out bringing home the bacon. Men lead the home while women must submit to them, because the church submits to Christ and a husband and wife are to be an example of it.
  • It’s okay to tell people they are awful sinners, guilty of the murder of Christ, and on their way to Hell where they will burn forever and ever. Amen. It’s okay to impose IFB standards and beliefs on everyone else, and if they don’t like it and try to do something about it then they are persecuting the IFB. Separation of church and state can apply to everyone else except Christians, then, if it does, it’s persecution and discrimination against them.

This all sounds so ridiculous and horrible now. When you’re stuck in it though, having heard it all of your life, it seems right. IFB can be very cult-like: lots of brain-washing, guilt-tripping, implementation of bizarre rules, judgement of outsiders and any who don’t conform, and the declaration that they “have it right” while others “have it wrong.”

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